Octwelve – A Web Designer's Blog by Luc Melgar

Because accomodation in Singapore is so damn expensive, foreign workers usually share the house. In my case, I rented a room of an old psycho lady. She accused me of stealing her bloody picture and started doing funny stuff to me. It’s a totally lame accusation to kick me out. There’s one night that she didn’t let me in. In the middle of the night, I had to go back to our office and spend the night there. I never thought I could encounter people like this in Singapore. I thought Singapore is a very very safe and peaceful place to live in. But there are many cheaters out there. My colleague has been cheated twice too. I wanted to move to another place as soon as possible but she gave a deadline shorter than what I’ve expected…2 days. Stress stress stresss…

Now I’m staying at a temporary room here at Toa Payoh. I’ve been here for a week. Tomorrow I’ll be moving to another house shared with a filipino family in Bedok. I have a good feeling that I’ll be ok there. The people and house is nicer, unlike my last house in Hougang, which is so rubbish like the owner. First time, I went inside that house at Hougang, I had a feeling that I don’t really like it…I had a bad vibe. I guess vibes are true. Thank God, I’m out of that house. And I gotta thank my colleagues too for helping me to get the hell out.

It’s so tough to be living like this…like homeless. And I felt so alone. Then 2 of my friends in the office left the company, so that adds up to my loneliness too. I’m so homesick. That time I just want to go back to Manila and sleep on my warm comfy bed, a place to call my own. But I wasn’t allowed coz I have to give a 2 weeks notice ahead if I want a vacation. I’m so stressed and depressed (i never cried though). I really need a vacation to rest my weary mind. But I found out that my mom wouldn’t be home this month to settle some things. So even if I go back, I’ll be home alone anyway. So that adds up to my sadness again. I’m unhappy lately…

That time, I wanted to give up everything here in Singapore too. I was thinking, why do I have to go through all of this, I don’t need this, why am i doing this to myself, for what reason. I was just so stressed about the house issue and I guess I’m also tired from work. I don’t have much free time as I used to have when I was freelancing. I’ve been working continuously for almost 4 months, quite an achievement for me. But then after talking to a friend, she said I’m still the same person who easily gives up on things when she doesn’t want what she wanted before just because it’s becoming a bumpy ride. Still the same person who escapes problems because it’s the easiest option. And it kinda hit me..I don’t wanna be unfair to anyone anymore. I had my lessons.

To end this, a short word from me who has never dealt with this kind of obstacle before. I don’t really know if it’s a serious problem or I’m just being an emo haha..So yeah whatever :P

Just smile and act the way like you always do. Don’t be depressed as it only makes you weak inside. Even if you have an easier option, think of what you really want and hold on to it without having to give up anything or anyone. Don’t give up so easily just because of obstacles. Instead, see this as an opportunity to improve our lives. It might not be easy but if it’s something that you believe in, and you’re not affecting anyone, things will go your way.